Woman seeking cable provider for long walks on the beach

Me: Hello! I'd like to buy some of your cable tellyvision.

Time Warner Sales Rep: Great. Are you interested in the Triple Play?

Me: Yes! I would like TNT, ESPN, and NBA TV please.

Rep: Um... I'm sorry but you have to choose one of our packages.

Me: Ok. I would like the basketball-only package.

Rep: Well the NBA league pass is $200 in addition to a monthly fee of...

Me: WHOA! How about I give you 20 bucks a month, and you can keep my tv fuzzy all day except during Celtics games?

Rep: Ma'am that is not one of our options.

Me: 30 if you let me tune in anytime Labyrinth is on.

Rep: I'm sorry but it doesn't work that way. We can offer you over 200 channels for a low rate of...

Me: How about you pay ME to let any of that housewives of kardashianville fist pumping crap into my home?!!

The Sales Rep politely hangs up.

I turn my face to the heavens and laugh in victory! That will show you, hegemonic corporate fat cats!! Take that, with your Boardwalk and your Park Place and your Luxury Tax!

But maybe I can call her back and ask what the score is?