Baddest Bitches Series: Arianna Puello

Ask Tina

Give Me My Name Back!

ewwww....what????!

H(ov)2O

I know this is old, but I think it's worth showcasing again....

My favorite Jigga quote: "It smell"

Baddest Bitches Series: M.I.A.

I know I've told you this a million times, but I'm gonna say it again. I had M.I.A.'s first CD years and years ago. Back then, everyone would get in my car and say her music made their ears hurt (ehhh hemmm ex-boyfriend). I would reply, just wait - this is some NEXT shit!, despite the nay-sayers arguments otherwise. The fact that I worshiped her then as well as now relieves me from any condemnations of hipsterdem, so don't even try it.

Anyway, M.I.A. is dope. Who else wears a polka-dot maternity bikini dress while performing ON HER DUE DATE? I love you, I love you, I love you.



And while we're on the subject of my favorite grrrl singers who have inspired recent jay-z songs, I would also like to point your attention to Santogold. Yes, her songs have been featured in car commercials, 90210, and Gossip Girl. In fact, I have a half-written blog post on this topic from months ago. But no matter. She is also dope and no amount of commercialization can erase this. And again, since I liked her before all of those selloutish moves, I am exempt from your accusations.

Now, if we can only get an M.I.A. + Santogold + Frenchie collabo, we will really be making music history! Yeehaaaw.

Guess My Race Trivia

It was, by all accounts, a typical New York City night. I opted out of the freezing subway trip alone, flagged down a car on Broadway, and began the slow trip uptown.

Almost immediately, the driver asks me, "You Dominican?" Nah. "Puerto Rican?" Nah... And so began the very familiar Guess My Race Trivia. After so many years of repeating this exact exercise, you, Dear Reader, can imagine that my enthusiasm for this call and response has waned. On the other hand, I have found some twisted pleasure in timing how long my unknowing contestants will take to arrive at the correct ethnic combination. I offer no suggestions and so the driver continues with all the predictable gusto. All guesses are wrong, a few are amusing.

"Oh, oh, wait. I know! You're from the Middle East, right?" I realized at this point that he might never guess correctly, despite the many blocks ahead. So I explained, per the usual, that I was in fact half white and half black.

"Oh mixed like Mariah Carey." Unfortunately, this response is not new either.

"Yes, like Mariah Carey - but better." I say, no longer amused.

"Ohhh...Mixed like our President!" I know he is beaming, even though I can barely make out his face in the dark. His voice is so proud. To this very new and much more preferable comparison, I am also beaming.

"YES! MIXED JUST LIKE OUR PRESIDENT!"

The driver switched topics pretty abruptly, talking in solemn tones about the impending Armageddon. But I didn't care. All the sudden, I realized people's compasses for understanding my racial roulette suddenly pointed due south, to the oval office. Forget the financial crisis, war with Iran, and climate change. I am glad the guy got elected if for no other reason than he's trumped Mariah in the list of well known mixed people. Hallelujah.

Mind Over Vagina